Learning to Speak Valley 101 - #4

Good morning class.
Welcome back to Learning to Speak Valley 101.
In today's class you'll learn words and phrases that will be vitally important if you are to understand what in the hell that Valley guy or gal is talking about.


Today's word is:
Howshe


When is it used in conversation? Normally as a friendly greeting or when asking questions

Often found in sentences such as: "G'day, howshe goin?" or "Howdy, howshe hangin'?" or "Man, I can smell your dirty feet from here - howshe stays with you I'll never know."

Sometimes substitued in a sentence by:
Hower (As in: "G'day, hower yanow?")

Those fluent in Valleyspeak will sometimes use both "howshe" and "hower" in a single sentence (this is not recommended unless you have completed Learning to Speak Valley 102 - the Advanced Class) Example: "G'day lad, howshe goin' and hower they hangin'?"

Chances (scale of 1 to 10) of hearing in church Sunday morning:
As a greeting - 10
During the service - 6 (Only if the collection plate is passed around and someone has forgotten their wallet - example: "Oh good lord, I only have a beer cap, a stick of Big Red and a snotty Kleenex in my pocket - hower we gonna get out of this pickle?")

Learning to Speak Valley 101 - #3 - Valley Twang

Good morning class.
Welcome back to Learning to Speak Valley 101.
In today's class, we're going to have a short spelling bee to help you learn the Valley spelling and pronunciation of everyday words so you can grasp the Valley Twang.

Teacher: Jason, please spell the word "potatoes" and use it in a sentence.
Jason: P-U-H-T-A-Y-T-U-H-S. Puhtaytahs. "My cousin used to work at Wes's Fries in Arnprior peelin' puhtaytahs all day long."


Teacher: Very good. Now spell the word "berries" and use it in a sentence.
Jason: B-U-R-R-I-E-S. Burries. "My friend Jurry Spurry can't wait for summer so he can go pickin' burries with his brothers Turry and Purry who love blueburries, strawburries and razburries."


Teacher: I'm impressed. Now please spell the word "calm" and use it in a sentence.
Jason: C-A-M. Cam. "I can't wait to get out in the canoe tonight because the lake is so cam - there isn't a ripple on the water."