Actually, we can narrow that list to one: bacon.
Yup. Bacon makes everything better.
Me: "I'll have a cheeseburger."
Waitress: "Would you like bacon on that, sir?"
See what I mean? Say it. Bacon cheeseburger. Ohhh man.
My better half: "My mother is coming for a visit."
My better half: "She's bringing bacon."
Me: "When do I pick her up?"
Bacon even makes mother-in-laws tolerable.
But the world is actually going hog-wild for bacon. There are very few places you can go today without finding something bacon related.
After a quick online search, it's easy to see that bacon ain't just for breakfast anymore.
In fact - if you play your cards right and follow the pics below, you can woo a bacon-lovin' woman and be makin' your own bacon with her in no time.
|You can't go out with your breath smelling like spearmint if you hope to find a mate.|
|And we all know flossing is more important than brushing.|
|Just in case brushing and flossing aren't enough.|
And every person who knows fashion knows belt matches wallet.
BUT EVENTUALLY, A LIFETIME OF EATING BACON CATCHES UP TO YOU.
MAY YOU FOREVER REST IN PIECE (OF BACON).
AMEN, BROTHER. AMEN.