Learning to Speak Valley 101 - #5

Good morning class.Welcome back to Learning to Speak Valley 101. In today's class you'll learn words and phrases that will be vitally important if you are to understand what in the hell that Valley guy or gal is talking about.

Today's word is:

Gription

Derived from: A combination of the words "grip" and "traction."

When is it used in coversation? When discussing treads.

Often found in sentences such as: "Holy frig, I need new tires or I'm gonna ditch her - there's no gription left on these ones." or "Holy jeez, I almost fell on my arse - there's no gription left on the bottom of these gumbuts." or "I got these new ball cleats and holy whistlin', you wouldn't believe the gription I have when I'm racin' around the bases." or "I can eat just about anythin' with these new dentures - my chompers don't move since I bought a tube of that Poly-Gription."

Sometimes used in conjuction with: The totally made-up word "slippy" as in: "I smashed my noggin when I was at the curling rink because the ice is slippy and I forgot there's no gription on the bottom of that slidin' shoe."

Chances (on a scale of 1 to 10) of hearing it around the dinner table: 5 (higher if you eat a lot of homemade pickles and jams, because you will hear: "Can one of you open this jar for me? My hands are all sweaty and I can't get no gription.")